Day 27 & 28: 40 Days & 40 Nights of Lenten Kindness

“Each person’s task in life is to become an increasingly better person.” -Leo Tolstoy

Lent Day 27: I think what a lot of folks don't understand about me is that I am one of those rare people that mean what I say. I try not to be something that I'm not, and at the end of the day I am more flawed and broken than I am perfect. I wake up every day hoping to be better than I was the day before, and G-d willing if that doesn't work out I have tomorrow to do it all over again.

I went to happy hour with a few friends, and it was nice. I was able to give one of my friends her birthday present (after a week), and she said, "I didn't have to." and I said, "I know, but I did." You can either show your friendship in small consistent gestures, or in large inconsistent awkward moments. I sometimes do a mash-up of both. My friends are really important to me, because of the culture I was raised in, and being an immigrant, friends do truly become family. We have arguments, disagreements, and hurt feelings. We will also have touching intimate moments when we are struggling and need loving support. When we celebrate together expect that we will also hold each others hands during moments of doubt and failure. Hopefully, there will be more good times and laughter than sadness and despair. My friends are my family non-the-less.

Lent Day 28: Sometimes you learn things about people that can shift your perspective on life in a pivotal way. Kind of like a paradigm shift. I want to see the best in everyone, and maybe we do it to a fault. When we make excuses for other peoples flawed character because in a way we are trying to protect our own. I try not to be judgmental, but as Maya Angelou said, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” I sometimes think we don't want to believe how awful people can be, especially when they reveal who they truly are in moments of crisis.

I have spent my whole life trying to prove myself to my parents, my peers, and other inconsequential people who I thought their opinions mattered to me. Because of wanting to be liked or needing approval, I didn't know who I was anymore, and I became very self-destructive. My many years of therapy helped me to break that thinking pattern and I came to the conclusion that I am a good and kind person. I am more than enough, and I am loveable.