“Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing.” - Anthony Robbins
Lent Day 25: Why do I always want what I can't have? I'm starting to realize, I may have intimacy issues. My friends don't think that's true, but the more that I think about my relationship habits, I'm fairly stand-offish when it comes to getting close to women. I think I even set myself up in relationships. I might even pick girls knowing they are emotionally unavailable, or just plain unavailable. Maybe, in a way, it's sort of safe for me to choose relationships that are doomed to fail, or just never take flight. I don't think I totally have relationship issues, I get, I set myself up at times, but the fact is that I'm aware something is up. Isn't that the first step, admitting that one has a problem.
In a weird way, this may be a good thing. How you may ask? Let me tell you. At least I don't just hook up or settle for anyone; I still have some standards, I at least have to be attracted to them. I'm trying to figure out what exactly I need in my life, right now. Of course, I'm still on the Lent-not-dating-ladies kick. Which I think is a good thing, it's really giving me an opportunity to figure out where I'm going with all of this. Do I want to be a serial dater, or look for a long-term relationship. Being a serial dater has some consequences since most women are not good with dating other people, more like, me dating other people. What's up with that? Not like I fall in love with them or anything. Anyhoo! I just want to get to a place where dating isn't so fricken' complicated. I would really just like someone I can hang out with on a Friday, or Saturday night and have breakfast with in the morning. Is that too much to ask for?
I also am starting to wonder if I'm a bad kisser. I'm going to have to do some investigating on this unfortunate situation.
Lend Day 26: I've been trying to work out more regularly. Mostly because I'm getting old and I need to tighten some stuff up, or gravity is going to do whatever it wants with my body. I do feel a little bit healthier, and I can touch my toes now. That's a good thing!
I do spend a lot of time mentoring youth, and I truly do enjoy volunteering my time with them. I get so much positive feedback from them. It really reinforces why I continue to invest so much of my time facilitating, and training youth. I know they can be a handful at times, and a little mentally, and emotionally exhausting. They are worth the time and effort. I know growing up different can be really hard for these kids, and having a positive role-model telling them they are amazing is gonna help get them through high school, I don't mind being that person. The thank yous I get from the students are worth it!
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